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Avoid writing in the first person
You're using the first person when you use the words I, we, my, and our. The bottom line: Use the first person sparingly on your web site. People care about themselves, and they're much less interested in you.
On your web site you say, "I wrote this program to solve my business problem, and I decided to offer it commercially". You'd sell more software if you turned this thought into a benefit for your customers. Tell them how your neat new idea will benefit them.
You say something like, "Our company is dedicated to listening to our customers, and providing the finest software available". You can close more sales if you tell your customers how your revised software can benefit them: "Because we listen to our customers, you can benefit by our program's feature-1, feature-2, and feature-3."
You have a link that says, "Our Privacy Policy". More people would click the link if it said, "Your Privacy is Important".
Write in the second person
You're using the second person when you use words like you, your and you're. Writing in the second person draws your reader into the conversation. The second person lets you paint a word picture that involves your readers, and makes them want to learn more about your software and how it will benefit them.
Pick up a book on how to sell real estate, and you'll find that the classic example of how to paint your reader into a warm fuzzy picture is something like, "This summer, when you're sitting here at your kitchen table and looking out your window at your kids playing in your yard, you'll be so pleased that you'd decided today to make an offer for this house." The sentence has seven variations of the word "you".
If you reread the first sentence of this article, you'll see eight variations of the word "you". The article you're reading isn't about me, or about some stranger. It's about how you can use words to make more software sales. Part of the reason that you've read this far is that the article is largely written in the second person.
When a visitor is reading your web site, they're asking, "What's in it for me?" By using your web site as a way of speaking directly to them, you can make them understand what a really neat program you're marketing. Second person sells.
Use the third person to describe things objectively
When you're writing in the third person, the subject of your writing is something or somebody besides you or me. You're telling what a program does, or what a customer might do if she or he used your software. If you're a really good writer, and you know your audience, you can use the third person to write interesting, appealing sales copy. It's easy to lose the reader's attention, though, because you're not talking about them. You're talking about some external, abstract concept such as a computer program, or some software feature that you hope they'll be able to turn into a benefit.
Don't use the phrase "the user" on your web site. Your prospects don't think that their world revolves round their computer, and they simply don't relate to references to "the user".
Write in the active voice
You're writing in the active voice when you say that a subject does something to an object. For example: The program compresses data into a zip archive.
Active voice sells. In ordinary conversation, people naturally use the active voice. The easiest way to find sentences written in the passive voice is to say them aloud. If they sound strange or contrived, ask yourself how you would say the same thing to a friend. Chances are, you'll come up with the active voice version of your awkward passive voice sentence.
Don't write in the passive voice
You're writing in the passive voice when you say that an object has something done to it by a subject. For example: The data is compressed into a zip archive by the program.
Passive voice sentences are vague, and generally don't tell you who did what. When you say, "Plug-ins can be added to the program," we don't know who is going to add the plug-ins. Is the developer going to add them before the sale, or are the plug-ins something that the buyer has to manage? Compare that to the active voice sentence, "You can add plug-ins to the program".
The passive voice is ideal for weasel-words, and for people who want to avoid responsibility. Passive voice sentences like "Mistakes were made." and "Program bugs were found." let you dodge responsibility.
Copywriting summary - person and voice
Use the first person rarely. It's effective in small doses when you want your prospects to relate to you as an individual.
Use the third person when you want to describe things dispassionately.
Use the second person when you want to paint your prospects into a picture. In your press releases, tilt the mix heavily toward the third person because that's how your write-up will appear in the publications' New Product Announcements sections. On your web site, use more second person prose. Second person sells.
Use mostly active voice sentences, and you'll make people more comfortable with your words. Read your web site aloud. If it doesn't sound like something you'd say to somebody face-to-face, change it to something more conversational. You'll sell more software.
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